Panic

I love this. I love this blasphemy. It’s the only source that brought me closer to a god. To any. God of mayhem, maybe? I’m not too sure. But I haven’t garnered love for the deities. Respect? Yes, of course. I told you I loved you. And you left me. Just like Yahweh. Just like Lucifer. Just like all these other beasts of the wild. And you ask me why I can’t calm down. Why I can’t. Damn. I won’t calm down. I miss you. I want you. I need you. I. I’ve had panic attacks from the abandonment of your love. And I don’t even know.

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