Father! Hollow be thy soul. Thy will impenetrable. I love you. You were an angel. A holy man. A vessel for triumph and hope. Yes, you were all those things to me and more. You were kingdom come in the bones of a diabetic. In the body of a Dominican man from Puerto Plata. You were born in the choir, in the Euphrates. Pure in your laughter and your strength. Father, I have loved you since you thought I was meant to be born a girl. Surprised when I was born a boy, you named me after you and your father. And I will carry this weight till my own death. And pass it on to my own son as a baton. I wished to give you my kidney, but you refused. Dad, I wanted you to live. And you wanted the suffering to end. You wanted release from hell, and I was too blinded by love to see that. It’s been a year now. It’s been a year today. I still love you, always will. To share stories of you with my children is a dream. It’s a drive for me. I’ve beseeched the gods for a conversation with you. But they never answered. So I saved the voicemails. I saved your voice on my phone. I miss you. I always will.


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