If I could send you this rollercoaster ride of emotions, the depressions, the manias, these celestial calamities inside my being, maybe then you will know me as human. Maybe then you would see me as able to falter and be weak. Because I forever have to be strong for the likes of you, the likes from you, for the likes to be with you. I’m tired. I want to take off my cool and relax. I want to sleep in shade and sip the night breeze in my sleep apnea and be whisked away by something smooth. But I need the armor for your comfort. I need the armor for your security. Keep it regal you say. Keep it elegant, keep it a hundred. How? How, when you don’t let me be vulnerable? When you don’t me be me in my own space, in my own head. Damnit, I have strangers avenues in my thoughts. This shit looks like suburbia. You came in, took my space and told me to keep my cool. Damnit, you stole me from myself. Repackaged it like it needed remodeling, shit never needed to change. You came and conquered. Like your ancestors on boats, but this time your on buses and subways. Its no wonder I want to focus on transportation. Maybe if I get there first I can save the land from you. I can save someone from becoming you. That’s how this tango goes. That’s how it sways. Done to to the collarbone and the tippy toes. You gentrify, I rectify. And you tell me keep my cool, cause thats the natural order. I never seen a lion live with a jaguar, not even in a zoo. So tell me what’s natural here? You keep taking my spaces, you keep taking my places. I could only keep this cool for so long.


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